Thursday 5 February 2009

A question that comes up quite often is how do we find a good relationship?


I think part of the answer is to ask the spirit for our attraction, thoughts and feelings to be used for the right purpose and we see the real person.

Some people reveal themselves in relationships and the other person is disappointed. Like when the person does not act like the romantic person then we think they are wrong, but that doesn’t make them wrong: just not right for us. We love purely when we release other people to be who they really are.

Intimacy cannot be gained through control and guilt, only through acceptance and release.
A holy relationship is a place where we are safe to be ourselves - knowing we will not be judged, but forgiven for our faults. This way we are motivated to grow and change and be healed.
There is talk of many different kinds of love where you learn different kinds of love. Love is the same, but in different forms. Each form teaches us about love.

A relationship demands all of our skills at compassion, acceptance, release, forgiveness and selflessness. There may be may challenges in relationships.

There is a fallacy that relationships take away the pain. This is simply not true. relationships don’t take away the pain, only the healing of the thing that causes the pain does. When we fall in love we will see the total truth about someone. Soon that is shut off. Suddenly that truth is not enough. They have to now look hip, look right, dazzle etc and then on-one gets to be “real” and human anymore.

We should be ready for that right person or someone that is near to that. A lot of the time we meet people who we could have a wonderful relationship with, but didn’t know how good they were and take advantage of the chance when we had it.

Like roses that bloom in summer, relationships that the romance has faded does not mean the end. Just like with the rose romance can bloom again if you work at it.

We are all seeking love but that desperation leads us to destroy it once we have found it.
We think they can save us from all our emotional pressure. We also think that there is a Mr or Mrs right out there: but if we face the truth we will see that due to being humans we all have faults and that Mr and Mrs right do not exist.In love we actively create conditions of interest, r
ather waiting to see if they are interested or not.

No-one always looks gorgeous or sexy so basing love on looks is not a good thing. Looks fade. We decide to love. We see a person that we are interested in and we want to give our love to them. In this way we decide to love. Waiting to see if a person reaches the standard makes the other person feel that they are on trial. It can lead them to be nervous and not be at their best.
We must learn to support each other so we can help each other to reach the top and overcome our weaknesses and faults etc.

Examining our past can help us to clear up problems we are experiencing, but healing starts in the present. Salvation is found there and there we can change the future by what we do in the present.

Although we have learnt how to not to love, repeating that does not solve our problems.

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